Selling The Dream
by Bunny1
Summary: When Burt finally had to stop shielding Jimmy from the other side of his business, and let him do some of the flirting, he warned him that ALL he was selling was the dream. What happens when someone demands more? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

The Chances did not have a lot of things that other families might have, but in some ways, they had _more_. They had love, loyalty, and a general protectiveness of each-other. People on the outside looking in would probably be surprised to know just how much, but as far as Burt was concerned, they could stick it where the sun don't shine. He never cared what others thought like Virginia or Jimmy had. All he cared about was right back in that house, as insane as it sometimes was. He looked at Jimmy, riding the mower, shirtless with Burt's cowboy hat, giving a flirtatious smile to Gwen, the moderately attractive housewife that he had been forced to stop his own flirtation with because after talking about it, it was just weird, for_ both_ of them.

But, for the past two weeks, he'd passed this one on to Jimmy, and it seemed to be doing all right- if anything, a little better he thought, with a slight grin of pride. The boy was growing up... Burt still took over most of them, however. He had sheltered Jimmy from this side of the business so long, he didn't want to throw him in full force.

Meanwhile, Jimmy stepped off the mower, wiping the sweat off of his brow with his forearm. Gwen shivered; it was such a manly gesture... She raced over with a glass of iced-tea she'd had waiting since he was halfway through.

"Here ya go, Jimmy," she said softly, "you look thirsty..."

"Thanks, m'am." Jimmy said, wiping the glass on his forehead, cheeks and neck before chugging it down.

Gwen's eyes bugged, and she took the empty glass, setting it down on top of the mower. "Jimmy..." she cooed, "Would you come take a look at something in the garage for me, please?"

Jimmy shrugged. "Yeah, okay... I'm not much with mechanics, though, I'll have to warn you..."

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that..." Gwen assured. "I just need something... reached."

"Ah, okay, yeah, that I can do." Jimmy said cluelessly, following her.

When they got to the garage, suddenly the door started going down by itself and Jimmy jumped away, startled.

"Hol-ly smoke! Is it broken?"

"No, silly; I have a remote." she said, holding it up in her hand before tucking it back onto her hip.

"Ahh, okay..." he said, breathing only slightly easier. The door had unexpectedly closed _very_ close to him, which was unnerving. "So, what do you need me to-" he started as he turned back to her, but saw that she had removed her top. "Gah! Mrs. Morrison... you... you're married..."

"So's my husband, doesn't stop him." she shrugged. "And _you_, my handsome fella, want me, I can see it." she said, tapping him lightly on the nose with one finger.

"I'm... you've got the wrong idea about me..." Jimmy stammered. "I... I'm kind of seeing someone, her name's Sabrina... okay, she's got a boyfriend right now, but... he's a douche and she's gonna see that pretty soon and see that I'm the most awesome guy for her-"

But, the rest of his rambling speech was cut off as a towel was thrown over his head...


	2. Chapter 2

The fuzzy hot blackness covering Jimmy's eyes began to envelop his senses as his breathing became restricted and he felt himself knocked back, and his dizziness increased with the bonk to the head. His arms felt pinned against his sides and he began to panic, claustrophobia clawing at his soul. He tried screaming, but all he got was a mouthful of towel.

With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he manged to shove and claw his way out of the towel, not even looking back at Gwen as he pressed the button for the door to open. But, to his mind, it eeked open so slowly he couldn't stand it, and dug his fingers underneath, giving a very large push to the bottom, making it go up faster. He stomped to the truck, where Burt was getting some weed killer out.

"I wanna go home." he said, his arms crossed over his chest, fidgeting.

Burt looked up with a light frown.

"We're only half done, we don't leave a job half done... looks bad, and the clients don't call us back."

"Dad,_ really _think we should go." Jimmy pleaded.

"Your fly's unzipped." Burt observed, and Jimmy looked down, blanching hotly as he corrected it.

"I... I'm... sick."

"You are not..." Burt scoffed. "What's goin' on here?"

And, Jimmy heaved his chest hard as he could, bending down and vomiting near his father's shoes. Burt grimaced. "Jimmy, you know when I see people throw up I..."

But, his sentence was cut off as he threw up as well. Burt grimaced again. "I'll get the hose, go wait in the truck..."

* * *

When they got back to the house, Jimmy rushed quickly into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Virginia, holding Hope on one hip, looked at Burt. "What's with him?"

Burt shrugged. "Heck if I know, reckon he's still sick."

"Sick?" Virginia frowned.

"Well, he threw up on my shoes, anyway." Burt shrugged.

"Well, hopefully it's just something he ate; we can't have him giving it to Maw Maw or Hope..." she said, sitting her granddaughter into the walker before walking to the bathroom door and tapping lightly with the heel of her hand. "Jimmy..." she called. "You all right in there?"

"I'm showering!" Jimmy called in a strained voice.

He looked down at his manhood, which had a definite bruise on it, almost like teethmarks... he grimaced. _How did I not feel that?_he wondered.

"Jimmy, are you_ sick_, or did you just eat something out of that machine at the gas station again? Cause I need to know if Hope needs to stay in our room."

Jimmy groaned, pulling a bathrobe on, and opened the door. "I'm fine, Mom. Really." he said. "Not infectious." he said, kneeling down in front of Hope.

Virginia eyed her son. "You are hiding something. A mother knows."

"Moooommmm..." Jimmy groaned, picking Hope up and walking to the back with her.

But, Virginia followed him anyway. "Jimmy, you have the face like you're hiding something."

"No, Mom, that's _you_who makes that face."

"Ha ha, you have one too. Come on... I can make you spill."

"You can not-"

"James Wilfred Chance I am your mother! Do you _really_want to lie to your mother in front of your baby girl?"

Jimmy winced. "I don't want to talk about it..."

"Aha! Burt! There's an 'it' to talk about! Make him tell me!" Virginia crowed.

"Mom, it's embarrassing, it's guy stuff..."

"I'm not moving out of your way until you tell me."

"Mom, _guy_ stuff!"

"Then tell your father, but I don't see the difference, because he's going to tell me, so stop percrasterbating."

Jimmy shook his head, not even bothering to correct her on the word, because he'd heard her use it enough times to know she'd probably just get mad, and leaned up on tiptoe, cupping his hand to his father's ear...


	3. Chapter 3

Burt looked surprised, and then cocked his head slightly at his son. "Seriously? She never did that with me... What's so special about you?_ I've_ got the muscles-"

"Burt!" Virginia exploded. "Who never did what?"

"Uh... nothin'..." Burt said, not looking his wife in the eye, but then turned to his son. "I told you you were selling the _dream_, not yourself!" he scolded.

"Trust me, I wasn't trying for that! She's like... Grandma Chance's age!"

"You're a horrible judge of women's age, son," Burt sighed, putting a hand on top of Jimmy's head. "Okay, okay... were her tits that bad?"

Virginia held her hands over Hope's ears. "Okay, what happened?"

"Mrs. Morrison tried to show him the goods, got a little aggressive with the boy." Burt sugarcoated. "But he came out and puked, figured they musta been unsightly."

"They were all right, I can puke on command." Jimmy admitted. "Weak gag reflex, but that also means it's harder _not _to throw up at some things. I just wanted to go home. I was kind of embarrassed. And a little in pain, she has sharp teeth."

Burt winced.

"She bit you? Where?" Virginia demanded.

"You don't wanna know, baby." Burt said, putting a hand over Jimmy's mouth. "Look, clearly, he is just as inept as his Momma at flirting. You paid one waiter a compliment: He stalks you. He smiles at some lonely house frau, she tries force herself on him... _clearly_ I am the only one in this family capable of keeping the Chance Charm properly contained."

Virginia rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, it's not a big deal, I just wanted to get out of there, can we _pleas e_drop it?" Jimmy begged.

"Jimmy, it's nothin' to be embarrassed about... we'll just forget it." Burt promised.

"Burt! No... she needs to apologize."

"Mom!" Jimmy said, horrified. "Dad... make her stop."

"Virginia... he's a boy... this is different than if he was a girl... you wanna scar him for life?"

"Yeah, like I'm not scarred enough already." Jimmy said, taking Hope from Virginia and walking her around.

Virginia frowned, pulling Burt out of the room and shutting the door behind them. Burt, thinking the matter was settled, sat down at the table next to Maw Maw and reached for a cookie, prompting Maw Maw to smack his hand with a wooden spoon.

"Ow! Damnit, Maw Maw!" he groused, rubbing his hand.

"Those are for Sammy!"

"Sammy who?" Burt grumbled.

"Sammy Davis Jr., of course! We have a date, and these kind of cookies are his favorite, so you make yourself scarce tonight... he's gonna be _my_candyman..."

"Ew. Yeah, no problem." Burt said, starting to get up, but Virginia shoved him back down. "Whaaaatttt?" he whined slightly.

Virginia held up one finger, and then turned to the top of the fridge, where she pulled out some videocassettes. She walked to the kitchen TV/VCR combination, and popped the first one in. On the screen was Burt, with long hair, and Jimmy at three years old. He was holding onto Burt's leg as Burt walked, but Burt didn't seem to mind, carrying him right along with him as he went along.

"You're my best friend, Doddy!" baby Jimmy declared on the video.

Video Burt smiled, picking him up in his strong hands and lifting him to the low ceiling before setting him down and holding out his finger. Baby Jimmy pulled, and they both laughed. Virginia turned to look at Burt, who looked all choked up in his chair...


	4. Chapter 4

Burt got up without a word suddenly and walked out of the house, a determined look on his face. Virginia smiled softly and walked back to Jimmy and Hope's room, and Jimmy was sitting, Hope on his lap, reading a book.

"That Sam I am, that Sam I am- I do not _like_that Sam I am!" Jimmy read, and Hope laughed, and Jimmy smiled. "Do you like Green Eggs and Ham?"

Virginia slipped quietly out of the room, shutting the door behind her, but gasped loudly, startled, when she bumped into Maw Maw.

"Maw Maw, please don't sneak up on me like that?"

"What'cha doin'? Does the boy have some unfortunate girl in there again?"

"No, Maw Maw, just the baby- how lucid are you right now?"

"Eh... sixty-forty?"

"Good enough, come on, my sewing machine is on the fritz again..."

* * *

Later, when Burt came back in the door with a a paper sack, Jimmy was sitting on the couch with Virginia, watching television.

"Ooooh, what'd you bring back, Dad?" Jimmy asked, looking up.

Burt smiled, reaching into the bag and handed Jimmy and Virginia each an ice-cream sandwich.

"Aw, thank you honey." Virginia said, opening hers up.

"You just went for ice cream?" Jimmy asked through a mouthful. "You were gone a while."

"I had an errand..." Burt said evasively.

Jimmy eyed him; he knew the tone. "Dad, you're hiding something- and I know you don't like to keep secrets..." he wheedled.

"Jimmy, let your Daddy alone," Virginia said, swatting playfully at her son's shoulder. But, then she looked over at Burt's hand as he opened up his own ice-cream sandwich.

"Burt... you have an accident there?"

"Uh... nope. Meant to do it." he said, glancing at the hand.

Jimmy squinted at him. "You _meant_to scrape your knuckles up?" he demanded disbelievingly.

"_Yes_, okay!" Burt burst out, then ran a hand through his soft, spiky hair. "Tends to happen when you punch somebody in the mouth..." he mumbled, looking down at his ice-cream.

"Burt! You _punched_that Morrison lady?" Virginia squeaked.

"_What_?" Jimmy burst out, eyes huge and horrified.

"What? No!" Burt huffed. "What's wrong with you two?"

"Sorry, sorry, just... who did you punch, Burt?"

"I punched _Mr._Morrison, okay?"

"But... why?" Jimmy demanded, looking a little panicky.

"Well, ya see, I went up there, just to talk to her..." he said a bit defensively, beginning to pace. "I tol' her I didn't think we'd be able to work for her anymore. Wasn't worth the money." he shrugged.

Jimmy looked gobsmacked. "Really?"

"Of course, son... I'm not gonna let anyone get away with... what's that word you used, Virginia?"

"Violating him, Burt."

"Right..." Burt nodded.

"Wow... that's... thank you..."

"Well, we love you, you know that." Burt shrugged it off.

"How does that explain you punching out her husband, though?"

"Oh, that..." Burt said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "Ya see, he heard me an' his wife arguing about... you know, what happened... and he came on out, and offered me money to get over it, more for you if you were willing not to fight her as hard, because they have quote 'an understanding'."

Virginia's eyes went huge, and she gasped. Jimmy made a face.

"Ew."

"Yeah..." Burt said, gritting his teeth, squeezing his poor ice-cream sandwich into goo. He grimaced. "Aw, and I was enjoying that..." he said, walking to the sink.

After Burt rinsed his hands off, he turned around and there was Jimmy, who gave him a quick, tight hug. Burt smiled, hugging him back. Too soon, Jimmy pulled away, but Burt put out one finger. "Hey?"

Jimmy smirked, reaching out and pulling it, and they both laughed, and then made a face, racing out of the kitchen to the den. As they sat back down, Hope began crying from her crib, and Jimmy started to get up.

"Jimmy..." Burt said sternly, "Remember the sleep training stuff?"

"Oh, right..." Jimmy said, twitching.

"Dada! Pwease, Dada!" came pitifully from the room, and Jimmy fidgeted, looking down and blinking.

Burt kicked at his son's shoe. "Are you made of stone, man?"

"No... jell-o." Jimmy said, racing back towards the bedroom. "Daddy's coming, baby!"

Burt looked at Virginia, who was smiling at him. "What?" he asked.

But she climbed onto his lap, giving him a big kiss. " That." she said, scrunching her nose at him.

"Well, now that's always good..." he said, lifting her by the hips and racing into their bedroom...

-End-


End file.
